Church was awesome tonight! About having trust in God and he will give you your hearts desire.
It made me wonder, though. When D and I were together, we prayed over everything. How was our desire so wrong? Or was it?
God gave us each other but it didn’t last. I believe Satan intervened quickly to tear us a part and my husband was easily swayed to pull away..into his old lifestyle.
I have been in touch with him recently and nothing was easy. He wants to start over..with dating and forget the past ever really happened.. But, I can’t. Everything did happen and it ended for a reason or reasons. He said he stopped doing drugs two months ago which is great, if true. He is also having financial issues and suggested I help him with money. This angers me. I helped him with money for a long time when we were married and before which led me to debt. I don’t want to date when he has only been clean for two months. I need way more time if we are ever meant to be together again. I also need to seriously pray.
Pastor talked about new beginnings and letting God handle things. I am not sure God wants me with D. again. My heart,mind and body are back to confusion YET,
As much as I love the man, i am seeing things clearer. I feel/read his anger when things do not go his way, I have trust issues now and am not sure we are really meant for each other.
Which brings me back to my original question; How were we both so wrong?