Church, Continuing, Ex, Other, Thoughts, True Life

Clearer Thinking and Time

Church was awesome tonight!  About having trust in God and he will give you your hearts desire.

It made me wonder, though.  When D and I were together,  we prayed over everything.  How was our desire so wrong?  Or was it?

God gave us each other but it didn’t last.  I believe Satan intervened quickly to tear us a part and my husband was easily swayed to pull away..into his old lifestyle.

I have been in touch with him recently and nothing was easy.  He wants to start over..with dating and forget the past ever really happened.. But, I can’t.  Everything did happen and it ended for a reason or reasons.  He said he stopped doing drugs two months ago which is great, if true.  He is also having financial issues and suggested I help him with money.  This angers me.  I helped him with money for a long time when we were married and before which led me to debt.  I don’t want to date when he has only been clean for two months. I need way more time if we are ever meant to be together again.  I also need to seriously pray.

Pastor talked about new beginnings and letting God handle things.    I am not sure God wants me with D. again.  My heart,mind and body are back to confusion YET,

As much as I love the man, i am seeing things clearer.  I feel/read his anger when things do not go his way, I have trust issues now and am not sure we are really meant for each other.

Which brings me back to my original question;  How were we both so wrong?

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