Yesterday & Advice

Yesterday, the handyman came to finish the house.  I have been using him for years and he does a great job, although, a bit flaky.  Well, he left for a while and let his brother and sister-in-law do the work.  I have had them help before…Let’s just say, it was a bad experience.  They showed up around noon and were here til 10:30 painting and yakking with each other and on their cell phones.  Needless to say, my handyman has to come back and double check and fix their mistakes tonight after he works.

On another topic, I can’t help but wonder how D really feels about my move.  I know I shouldn’t care and I refuse to make contact. He put “like” on my friends Facebook page, but I know him.  I remember the last time I moved, he said he was afraid I would up and move to AZ without telling him; so I made sure Crazy posted it on Facebook this time.  I know he will be alone now, but, it’s time he becomes the man he is meant to be. I will continue to pray he gets back on the right track.  I am becoming free of him and his crap, by moving away.

I HATE Ants!  This house is infested.  I hope they aren’t getting into my moving boxes. I am looking for natural ways to tackle this.


Addiction Experience & Thank You

WordPress People,

You are my therapy and since I know no one personally, you observe my side of things from another perspective.

Let’s talk about addiction.  Can an Addict really change?  Without professional help?  Do you believe someone can just decide to no longer smoke weed, meth, drink beer, whatever, and never go back to it? Without professional help?

I am better then I was and deserve to be treated right!  Do I really want to stay in love or get re- involved with an Addict?  That book should be over and I should never have reopened it.

If anyone can share their experiences, please do.  I am back to focusing on myself and my education for a bit.

Thank you for reading and following this blog.  And thank you for helping me in life’s big decisions.

Truth Hurts

I am an Idiot!

  I have been praying every day for over a year for my last husband to clean up from drugs and alcohol and come back to me..only to find out that he now has a Girlfriend

. This is killing me.

  As it’s been, I have been afraid to see him because I would cry.  I don’t know how to handle this. 

  People keep saying to “Get over him” which is not helpful.

  I am not giving up on God or my faith but my prayers seem futile now.  Plus, I wanted to snap at my sister since she was the one who pushed the Annulment.

  I know it’s all my responsibility for my own choices but I am miserable now.

My song for today is The Heart Of The Matter by Don Henley

Unwanted Advice

Crazy’s ex-husband is in town emptying his apartment. He is treating her like crap again and she is allowing it.  She came over today, complaining but she won’t put a stop to it. She won’t stand up for herself.  I try to give her my opinion but, it is not wanted.

  It makes me wonder who I am to give advice when I had to go to such extremes to get D. to leave?  Just because I finally stood up for myself does not mean everyone can or desires to. 

 It just hurts to see Crazy allowing this treatment and what’s worse is he is going to be coming back again to get the rest of his stuff out of her house.

In other news, I am always exhausted after my 2nd day of therapy.  My hand is still very sore and I am working hard on straightening my fingers.  I am looking forward to getting over this so I can start writing once again.  My knee is still also a bit swollen, but, getting bettet.

Marriage Ending Saga

Oh my gosh, Have you ever written an entire post and have it delete? It sucks.

So, I am very comfortable in my decision. D. needs to take responsibility for himself before we ever consider getting back together. Plus, he has chosen his drug over our marriage. I met a man who was clean and a devout Christian not a Druggie. He has changed into someone I don’t know, and wants me to compromise. I refuse to compromise on this issue.
He will hopefully have some money in 2 weeks and I pray he finds a place and picks up his stuff.

I am giving him an awful lot in packing. I ordered new dishes so he can have the old ones. Everything that came from his friends for our wedding goes to him, plus, I am trying to sort most everything evenly.

He is getting advice on Facebook now, but, does not tell them the main issue. Their advice might be way different, if they knew.

A Quick Sick Post

Yesterday was another total, down day of sickness (mainly headaches) which could be a side effect from all these meds, I am taking.  Or, it could be just Migraines.  I always make excuses for them when they probably just are.  Every day, I feel a tiny bit better with this stuff but I so want it gone!  I talked to a friend yesterday who told me she has been sick for a month and the poor thing could hardly hold a conversation on the phone; she coughed so much.

I pray for all who are afflicted with this stuff.  And, for those who aren’t?  Please be careful.. especially if you have a low, immune, system.