Leaving Las Vegas

The move date is set for September 15th or sooner.

I need to be out of here by or before the 8th and will be moving in with Crazy for a few.  It’s going to be interesting because we will have the cats in the bedroom and the dogs in the Living Room. But, it will only be a week, so we will survive.

I don’t feel nervous anymore, but rather, a bit excited.  Also, a bit sad..everything considered.  I will always remember D. and will always pray for him and carry love in my heart.  I know some people can take years to change and some never do.  I wish him all the best.

I know I will miss Vegas, but, this move is good in many ways.

While in Vegas, I have owned a house, fallen in love, gotten married, had my marriage shattered and ended, found a church, was hurt by said church, left the church, found a 2nd, very, welcoming church, adopted cats, adopted a dog, gave up a previous cat (to her dad), gave up the dog ( to my last husband), inherited my last husbands two cats, had animals die, got (and still have) a Betta Fish, seen shows, stayed at hotels, made a BFF, etc. I am sure I could go on.

Las Vegas was my dad”s dream and I hope I’ve made him proud.

Do I really want to move away from here? No. But, this move isn’t about what I want. It’s about what God wants for me.

Short Education Post

I caught up on my class this week and sent my school transcript to a college.  I think I am a bit nervous but, I am really going to do this.

  A college in my state has a really good literature program and a teaching program which would be approached in my state.  Still working on the Fafsa .  I need to figure out how/where to get my 2015 Tax Retirn.

Feelings,Nothing More Than Feelings…

It’s 11p.m and the fireworks haven’t stopped so on that note, Happy 4th All!  Join me in being thankful for our freedom.

I am going to continue a bit with my Metaphor post now, which won’t be easy.  I have done it and opened the door again.  Not all the way but, he can get his foot in and I can hear his words.  They are normal, friendly words..”How are you?  What are you doing today? etc..

Here’s the issue:  Can we be friends?  Is this what I really want?  I don’t know the answer but, hearing his voice or reading his texts takes me back..to the time when we first dated and talked long into the night, hearing stories about the dog reminds me of when I adopted the puppy and how sad I felt at almost having to take him back.  When we do talk, he and I, it is awkward.  I don’t want to share where I moved and I am still not ready to date anyone.  I guess sometimes his texts annoy me now since I am trying so hard to focus on me.

D, if you are reading this. I hate to hurt you again. But, please don’t text for a while and I won’t call.  Let’s cut it off entirely and take some time..to figure out who we really are as individuals. Only God knows if our paths will intersect again, and what happens then.

:

 

Injury and Meds (Part 2)

My physical therapist offered to look at my foot.  He did not have a machine but did not think it to be broken, so he did a bit of therapy on it.

The next day, my whole foot was inflamed and it felt like heat was coming from the inside.  Nothing stopped the pain so OI went to Emergency.

It turns out after an x-ray, that I have two broken bones in my foot.  Thank God they gave me pain meds

.  Now, my foot is all wrapped up and I need to schedule. my Primary and an Orthopedic Surgeon.

My Heart At Peace

After a lot of prayer, tears, pain,guilt, anger, sadness as well as, communication with him; I can finally say I am at peace with the Annulment and can move forward.

The fact that he lies or makes things up on Facebook and Instagram was enough to sway me this direction.  The Pro/Con list, itself ended with a lot more con’s compared to pro’s.

The fact that he stopped drugs cold turkey really does not need to be taken under consideration because he could relapse any time just like he did in our marriage.

So, in conclusion, i am okay and my heart is at peace.

My song for today is; “I Am Woman!” by Helen Reddy.

Friends?

D. and I are going to e-mail or text once in a while. 

 He claims the girl is not a girlfriend and says he quit weed.  He did not go to actual recovery though.  That bothers me because it’s to easy to relapse again and he has lied about quitting before.

I am feeling a bit better.  I am determined to become a better person and open my eyes to reality.

Stress = Sick

This morning I woke up with a score throat, cough and just feeling blah.

I think I know why.  Aside from the sudden weather change, I am depressed.

Saturday is the day two years ago that D and I got married.  The day the church called giving us the choice between really tough options, the night I cried in my husband’s arms because our wedding was taken away.

It was a sad beginning of a marriage with an even sadder ending