If you have never tried Air BNB, I highly suggest it. It’s an app where people post rooms and housing for rent instead of a hotel/motel.
I stayed with an amazing family. My room was their Library so I could read to my hearts content. Anyway, I saw my cat and made friends with the girl who will be taking care of her, I also went to Knott’s Berry Farm, dinners and brunches and karaokying with friends. Surprisingly, I even slept solid every night which I haven’t done much since being alone.
On another note, do you ever feel like your life is a Carnival and you are not sure you want to go on a Roller Coaster a 2nd time? Especially when you know parts of the track are faulty and they have only started to fix it.
I think I am there, right now. I am not sure if I should leave the Carnival completely since it just reopened. I don’t know if it will ever reopen again or if I want it to. I do know I need to wait and think seriously about riding this roller coaster again.
*This is Firepie and me.
I am on vacation and I can’t sleep. Plus, I can’t say why. Although, nobody knows me; I do not want to be judged for my life choices and until I seriously figure out what I want, I can’t share them.
I have been having a good time so far and tomorrow (today) I am going to Knott’s Berry Farm and seeing my cat tomorrow night. I’m beginning to think I should have stayed longer since I won’t have time to see everyone I planned. But, that is out of the question, financially.
It’s a bit weird staying with a family but everyone is super nice and make me feel like I am part of it.
After a lot of prayer, tears, pain,guilt, anger, sadness as well as, communication with him; I can finally say I am at peace with the Annulment and can move forward.
The fact that he lies or makes things up on Facebook and Instagram was enough to sway me this direction. The Pro/Con list, itself ended with a lot more con’s compared to pro’s.
The fact that he stopped drugs cold turkey really does not need to be taken under consideration because he could relapse any time just like he did in our marriage.
So, in conclusion, i am okay and my heart is at peace.
My song for today is; “I Am Woman!” by Helen Reddy.
I believe the fact that D. and I are communicating will help me to let go. It’s like wanting something you can’t have. Once you get it back, it’s not the same. I am going to write a Pro/Con list also. I deserve to be treated better and I need to stop settling.
I wrote my Pro/Cin list and Con”s win. I am okay and at peace now. I am done.
D. and I are going to e-mail or text once in a while.
He claims the girl is not a girlfriend and says he quit weed. He did not go to actual recovery though. That bothers me because it’s to easy to relapse again and he has lied about quitting before.
I am feeling a bit better. I am determined to become a better person and open my eyes to reality.
I have to wonder if they teach the same series in different churches at different or even the same times.
My church ended a series on relationships. It always made me think of D. and tonight was no exception. He talked about people coming into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. He also talked about how a relationship/marriage needs to be cultivated to bear fruit or die. Both, Crazy and I, thought about our Exes. When someone gives up, the marriage/relationship will wither or die.
I cannot regret what I believe was the right decision. I do regret that D’s behavior forced me to follow through.
The other hard part is that God did not make us to be alone, yet, quite a few of us are and not by our own choice.
In other news, we took Monkey to the vet for a nail trim but she turned wild again so it’s been recommended to have a mobile vet come to her. She was even given something to calm her but, it wore off to quickly.
My BFF amd I are going on a trip. However, this is not necessarily a pleasure trip. We are going to a Research Hospital so they can research Propionic Acidemia, the disease I was born with. From what I know I cannot metabolize the amino acid “Glycine”. It can lead to suppressed immune system and other issues. I am the 1st or 2nd eldest living with this so perhaps what they find will help others that survive. We are taking an extra day for pleasure.. to see the area and to connect with a friend I lost contact with for over 7 years.